Negative to positive thoughts



Changing negative cognition

If you have negative thoughts or beliefs that are causing you distress you can change the way you look at those thoughts so that they no longer have that effect.

Make a list of any negative thoughts that regularly bother you, they do not need to be in any order, just write them down as they occur.

Now on a separate piece of paper write down the  positive way you would like to think about each of them

For example

Negative =   People stare at me when I pass, they don’t like me

Positive= People look at me as I pass, they are interested in me


Allowing yourself to put different interpretations on thoughts proves to you that there are always  alternatives.

You are not a mind reader so take a moment to think about that---- you are assuming that you know what is in another persons mind, you can only know what is in your mind --------so that means that  you are assuming your thoughts  are their’s, that they think as you do

We make assumptions about everything, it is the brains way of fast tracking to an answer. The brain uses its memory as a constant reference, it knows what you thought in a particular situation and tries to fit it to every future similar situation. When you try to guess what others are thinking you end up referring back and in effect saying “ Well what would I think in their position?”

So, accepting that  you cannot know  truly what others think you take clues from their actions—remember that most communication is not verbal ( Spoken) it is through body language.


                                        Big  LIGHTS ON moment


If what you feel, think, believe about others is gained from body language and non verbal signs is it not logical that they get information about you in exactly the same way.??????


If you look like a victim you will be treated like a victim, if you look confident others will assume you are confident. This is one of the most basic  instincts for survival--- notice how cats and birds puff themselves up to look much bigger when threatened—literally saying “Don’t take me on I can beat you”

 Peacocks open up their fan tails to show how attractive they are  to potential mates.


You may think this  is drifting away from changing negative thoughts but it is not, this is really relevant and really important.


You project  an image to the world, it may change depending on the situation, parent, friend, boss, fighter, winner, public speaker, team leader, the list is endless.


Take those negative thoughts--- find alternative interpretations AND accept that these alternatives are just a valid or real as those original meanings.


We all have doubts, they are useful, they stop us just dashing headlong into situations without thought for the consequences BUT  getting the balance right is the key. When you get the “People stare at me when I pass, they don’t like me” thought STOP and think “Why would the not like me, they do not know me”


Often negative thoughts about ourselves come from a lack of confidence, maybe there has been an incident that dented our confidence or maybe we have been constantly put down by someone we want to please. Its easy to assume a negative  with that background BUT it is easy to assume a positive too, it takes the same time and effort YOU can make the choice once you are aware that it is an option.

Things from the past do affect us in the present BUT we can turn that off just as you can turn off apps on your phone or programmes on TV. Be prepared to change your attitude to yourself and those around you, allow yourself to think that you are someone that others want to know, someone with ideas, thoughts skills that are valuable.

So how did you get on with the negative and positive comparison?

 Notice how each of the statements made you feel as you read them, did you feel happy or sad, put upon or elated? Where in your body did you get a feeling, in your head, stomach, arms, legs?

Things in your mind affect your body so as you allow yourself to  change the way you feel about things your body changes too. You will be able to release the tension in your neck, the knot in your stomach will go,  the weakness in your legs will disappear, that shakiness or trembling will go because they are the outward signs of what’s going on inside.


So read through both sets of  lists one more time then take the negative one and destroy it—shred it, burn it, tear it into tiny pieces, make a big occasion of it—let go of that way of thinking.

Save the other list, keep it with you and as soon as a negative thought comes ---inside your head--- shout STOP ,visualise a massive stop sign in neon lights and a loud sound, take a deep breath --then read though that positive list. It works, let it work for you

Calm mind calm body

I can work through this with you and help you find ways of changing how you feel both in mind and body, just contact me  and release a happier you

© Martin Williams 2013/15/16